New Moon, New Dreams, Old Issues

So it is 11am and I just dragged myself out of a bed, or should I say, out of the dream world. It seemed that every moment last night (and this morning) that my eyes were closed, I was dreaming. If I woke up briefly, the same dream would resume upon falling asleep again (or at least, this is what it felt like - perhaps not actually the case). At any rate, it took great effort for me to finally get out of bed, as exhausted and I was, and still am, from all of that dreaming! Exhausted and feeling as though I am still in another world (dare I say dimension?).

And what was it that all this dreaming was about? Well, there are still some big question marks, especially in terms of any cogent storyline. I do know that is that it was very busy and FULL of all kinds of people from different areas of my life. Busy and very populated dreams are the norm for me, but last night seemed to be exceptionally so. There were a few people I didn't know (this is less common for me), as well some people from work, from school, and at least one from my course at The Haven (that'd be you, Ian!). I know that what I was dreaming shortly before I woke up was centered around putting on a play, with much of the action being in the hectic pre-show time. There were scandals, and renovations, there was laundry, there was someone sneaking out wearing a tweed jacket and coming back with a tiger stripe pattern dyed in his hair. All this, and more...and not a lot I could make a connection to. Oh, and I think at one point I saw my grandfather (who passed away last April), which will be the second time this week. Hi Grandpa!

I've made an attempt to resume my (handwritten) dream journal, but now I am thinking about documenting it on here...or maybe writing it out and then including parts of it here, as a way of integrating my dreams into my life a little more, making more connections.

As for my experience of dreaming last night, it does make some sense in the context of my week. For starters, the deep connection I felt to the dream world does not surprise me, because I was involved in a special New Moon ceremony last night. It was a very powerful and spiritual experience with a small group of women and some beautiful rituals that were completely new to me. There was also some talk of dreams, and of paying closer attention to them, so I definitely think that this, plus being charged with some new energy, lead to the intense and deep dreaming I had.

In the past week I have also experienced what I first thought of as "going back into an old self", almost like a regression. Now I don't think it is so much that as it is a kind of psychosomatic way of experiencing memory. More on that later. I know that it is also old stuff that was never really resolved, and now that I am where I am with my recovery, some thingsm are starting to come back up again. I heard a quote last week that describes this place perfectly:

"You climb a hill, just to realize you are at the bottom of a mountain".

Yup. That has never made more sense to me than it does now.

And one of the best ways for me to start making my way up the mountain is to keep writing.