Some Post-New Year's Rambling

So, we are offically one week into the new year, and the new decade, with the latter offering increased potential for change and transformation.



I say this with a slight sense of irony, but also acknowledge that this year was indeed a special NYE for me, and fitting that it should be a new decade as well, for it is the first year - in nearly a decade - that my "resolutions" did not include "overcoming bulimia and/or anorexia". Well, in the earlier part of the decade my intentions were not so focused on eating disorder recovery, but were more the seeds of what was to come (ie. promises to punish myself by restricting food, to get thin and thus make my life "better").



I know that in my last post I expressed feelings of joy around my new freedom from disordered thoughts and behaviour, but I cannot help but reiterate. It also gives context to what I have been experiencing in the past few months - more marked, in the past week, having had some time to reflect upon things. I spent a lovely and relaxing week in Prince George, British Columbia with Martin's family - the last couple of days of 2009, and the first few of 2010. Having time to stop and witness myself, and to be surrounded by very open and truthful people, brings all kinds of things to the surface: important things that I have been ignoring in favour of the trivial things, or perhaps using the trivial things as a shield. I realize that this is all quite vague, but I am at the point in the evening where I lose track of my thoughts as I write... that being said, I think I'm going to come back to this, to save us both from any more generalized thoughts.



And hopefully next time I read this, I will remember what the hell I was getting at.
That's what I get for trying to finish up something I started earlier today late in the evening.